At My Fingertips
by aevee
Summary: AerisTifa one-shot. "She had always been right at my fingertips, but never close enough." From the creator of 'Shards of the Ice Queen' Probably my best work to date.


AN: I know, I know. I'm supposed to be working on 'Shards of the Ice Queen', but I've got writer's block for that story. So... I decided to contribute to the FF7 area instead!  
  
Warning: Lookee here, if you're a little queasy about the idea of girls liking girls, get outta here ASAP. You've been warned. Don't send me reviews saying "ewwww! You should have warned me about the pairing!"  
  
Nobody knew. Nobody could have guessed. After all, it was always Cloud this, Cloud that for me. Nobody knew that I longed to reach out to her. That I had reached out and touched her. She had always been right at my fingertips, but never close enough.  
  
The first time I saw her, in that dingy hellhole of a place, she was beautiful. She looked like an angel, in a sleazy outfit, but an angel nonetheless. She called to me, and I was so shocked. Actually, I had barely heard her (I was too busy staring), but after I realized she had called to me, I did feel shock coursing through my body. This angel come to life knew my name, yet I had never seen her before in my life. Or any of my lives before this one. After all, don't you think I'd remember someone as beautiful as her if I'd ever seen her before? But I couldn't do anything, because I found out that strange looking girl standing beside the angel who called herself Aeris was actually Cloud. My brain immediately woke up from its little daze from seeing Aeris, and everything fell back into place, I was the jealous childhood friend watching the crush of her life being taken away by an angel. But on the inside, on the inside I was jealous Tifa Lockheart, watching, green with jealousy, as the supposed crush of her life took away the angel she longed for. Aeris loved Cloud. Cloud loved Aeris. It was so simple. But I forgot to add something. Tifa loved Aeris but pretended she loved Cloud. That's how it was.  
  
Time went on, we travelled together. We picked up a couple of new stragglers. Red XIII. Cait Sith. Yuffie Kisaragi. Vincent Valentine. Cid Highwind. Add to those me, Cloud, Aeris and Barret. We were one big group on one big mission, but to me, none of that mattered. All that mattered in my little world was Aeris. Her beautiful brown hair that would have cascaded down her back in waves had she let it out. I longed to reach out and touch it, to feel the cloud-soft strands. Her enchanting emerald eyes that I constantly drowned in. Her soft face that I longed to reach out and stroke. The voice that was my way into heaven. The laugh that made me feel like I had something to live for. In me, I harboured an ever-growing love for her, but I could never show it. There were times when I'd give her the odd hug, or a whisper of encouragement, but I could never go any farther than that. And all the while, I watched as she grew closer and closer to Cloud. Part of me was happy. Aeris herself was happy, and just that made me so as well. The other part of me was so jealous, I thought that if I didn't tie myself to my bed, I'd sleepwalk in the middle of the night and kill Cloud. But then, Aeris did something that surprised me, and changed everything.  
  
xxxxxxxx  
  
Knock.  
  
A soft knock in the middle of the night. Being a light sleeper, I had already known someone was coming to visit me from the light footsteps that sounded in the hallway. All the same, I groaned like I had been asleep all along, yawned and stretched, then trudged to my door and opened it.  
  
"Hi Tifa. Sorry to bother you so late..."  
  
There she stood. Basking in light only seen by me, Aeris stood in her pink flowery nightgown, her hair out and falling gently in waves, her bright green eyes clouded over by the need for sleep and something else that I couldn't quite make out. She was wringing her hands, looking up at me almost fearfully. It took me a while to find my voice. She looked so beautiful, she took my breath away, and she wasn't even trying.  
  
"Hey, don't worry. I couldn't sleep anyways." I whispered when my voice finally decided to come join us.  
  
I didn't realize I had just contradicted my own actions from before, having stood before Aeris, rubbing at my eyes like I really needed to go back to sleep, but I don't think Aeris really noticed that. There was a moment of silence.  
  
"Aeris?"  
  
She'd been picking at her nightgown nervously, biting her lower lip.  
  
"What's wrong?" I whispered, trying my best not to let out all of the concern I had in one go. I didn't want to scare Aeris away.  
  
She looked up at me, and I saw tears shimmering in her eyes. Before I could say anything else, before I could do anything at all, she threw herself onto me, her arms wrapped around my neck, and she started sobbing noisily onto my bare shoulder. Shocked, all I could manage was to slowly, hesitantly, wrap my arms around her waist, hoping that the contact would calm her. It didn't. Instead, her sobs escalated until I was sure that everyone would wake up and find us there, standing in my doorway, bodies so close to each other.  
  
"Hey... Hey, it's ok Aeris..."  
  
I lifted one of my hands and started rubbing her back soothingly.  
  
"It's alright Aeris, shhhhhhh."  
  
Slowly, gradually, her sobs subsided into little sniffles and small hiccups, and then into nothing at all. I was greatly relieved and was just about to pull away when Aeris raised her head from my shoulder and leaned back a little. She still had her arms wrapped around my neck, and I still had my arms wrapped around her waist, and we gazed at each other. Her eyes, normally bright, were even brighter now, shining with leftover tears, and an intense emotion.  
  
"Tifa..." she murmured my name, and it sent a shiver down my spine.  
  
And suddenly, I found Aeris' face right in front of mine, our faces so close that our noses were touching. My heart was pounding. Surely if everyone else hadn't heard Aeris' wails, they would hear my heartbeat and come out now, they were so loud!  
  
"Tifa..." she murmured again, and this time I felt her breath on my lips. I could feel the air between my lips and hers move because of her soft whisper of my name. In fact, I could almost feel her lips against mine as she whispered.  
  
I wanted to whisper her name too, I wanted to ask her what she was doing, remind her that I wasn't Cloud, but I couldn't find my voice. All I could do was listen to my racing heart as it pounded away in my ears, listen to her murmur my name, breathe in the scent of her skin, hold her close to me, wait in dreadful suspense to see what she would do next. It was all I could do to stop myself from moving forward to close that last little space between my lips and hers. I wanted oh so much to feel her lips against mine, but I didn't know whether she would allow it or not. Maybe she just wanted to tease me now, maybe she was just playing around. Maybe she was dreaming, and she thought I was Cloud.  
  
"Tifa..." she whispered yet again, and that dispelled my thought of her thinking I was Cloud. Her voice, though quiet, was thick with need. "Tifa," she breathed onto my lips, "I..."  
  
She never finished. Instead, she leaned forward and that last little space between me and her closed, her soft, soft lips finally pressed against mine. I melted in her arms, I melted as soon as her lips made contact with mine. I was in heaven. The world simply dissolved from around me, and all there was was Aeris, all there was was pure bliss. And then, I found myself back-pedalling as Aeris leaned forward, taking small steps forwards as I took them backwards. We moved into my room as one, still blindly pressing our lips together. I heard the door close, and I could only assume that Aeris had kicked it shut. Next moment, I felt the edge of my bed against the back of my calves, and my legs buckled. We fell onto my bed in a heap, and we stopped kissing long enough to giggle and take a deep breath before returning hungrily to each others' mouths. It was several long moments later before we had to break apart again to breathe, and I opened my eyes. I was lying on my bed, rather crookedly, and Aeris was sprawled on top of me, gazing down with a smile. She placed a small kiss on my lips.  
  
"Hey Tifa."  
  
Another small kiss.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
Another kiss, this time a little longer.  
  
I laughed when we broke apart again.  
  
"What's up?" I questioned, grinning. "You're up. And you're crushing me!"  
  
Aeris giggled, before giving me a mock offended look.  
  
"Are you saying that I'm fat?!"  
  
"Awwwww, I'm sorry Aeris. Here, as an apology."  
  
I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulled her towards me, and kissed her again. This time, Aeris gave a small gasp as she felt my tongue run along her lips, asking for her to open them up. She did, and I pushed my tongue in, only to be met by her tongue. Finally, we broke apart, gasping for air, but Aeris didn't pull back. Instead, she pressed forward, sucking hungrily at my lower lip, taking small, shallow breaths while giving me eager kisses. I could feel her desire, her overwhelming sense of need, and mine matched hers. My fingers fumbled with the buttons of her nightgown, trying to undo the front of her gown as fast as possible. Her hands pulled frantically at the straps of my tank top, letting them slide down my shoulders, before moving down to my waist to play with the hem of my top. She slowly edged it up, making sure to run her nimble fingers along the sides of my stomach, making me moan. It was muffled though. My moan only got as far as the back of Aeris' throat, as my tongue and her tongue pushed against each other furiously. Her hands had stopped pushing my top upwards. They'd snaked in, underneath my tank top, and had started playing with the clasp of my bra. Aeris was so busy kissing me, she could barely focus on undoing the clasp, but several moments later, undone it was, and she was slipping my bra straps from my shoulders. We broke apart for a breath of air, and I opened my eyes to see Aeris flinging my bra onto the floor. Then, I ducked my head as she wrenched my top off. I had finally managed to undo the last button of her nightgown, and I slid it off her slowly, taking in the beauty of her body.  
  
"Tifa-" she whispered, her voice thick with lust.  
  
"Yeah?" I answered, breathless.  
  
I finished sliding the nightgown off of Aeris, and dropped it to the ground. Her legs straddled my hips, and I watched as she slowly slid off my shorts, taking my panties along with them. I couldn't help but blush at my sudden nakedness, and Aeris giggled.  
  
"Awwww, you're shy!" she cooed, then dipped her head down to nibble at my lip.  
  
I giggled, but it was once again muffled. I didn't really notice, as my attention was fully on undoing that damn clasp. A couple of heated seconds later, Aeris' bra joined mine on the ground. A couple more seconds, and her panties were also in that category. Silence and immobility fell over us, as we gazed at each other. She was so beautiful. Every curve of her body was softly highlighted by the moonlight streaming thinly in through my window. Slowly, almost cautiously, I lifted a hand, and gently stroked Aeris' side. Her milky white skin was as soft as clouds.  
  
"You're so beautiful, you know that?" I whispered to Aeris.  
  
She smiled, then kissed me softly.  
  
"Not as beautiful as you are." she whispered back, her lips brushing softly against mine as they moved.  
  
And then, there were no more words, no more admiring each other. We gave in to our lust. Her kiss went from soft to full blown passionate. I thought if she pushed her head any further forward, there would be a permanent dent in the mattress. Our hands roamed freely over each other. We felt each other's moans as they were caught in our throats. We pressed our bodies as close to each other's as humanly possible, yet still thought they were too far apart. I couldn't get enough of her, and she couldn't get enough of me. Finally, when we both decided that this just wasn't enough anymore, we broke apart, and gazed into each other's eyes. Her emerald orbs shone with silent consent, and I'm sure my crimson ones did too. But it didn't go any farther than that. Both our bodies froze and stiffened as we heard heavy boots clunking down the hallway towards my door. She clutched at me fearfully, burrowing her face into the crook of my neck and silently lying by my side after having rolled off of me, and I held her close, kissing her on the top of her head to reassure her. Maybe, with luck, the late night prowler would simply walk right past my door, and leave me and Aeris be. We waited, clutching at each other, and Aeris whimpered softly into my neck.  
  
"Shhhhh, it's ok Aeris." I whispered, kissing her once again on the top of her head.  
  
"It's Cloud, I just know it!" she whispered back, her reply muffled.  
  
So she recognized those heavy footfalls too.  
  
"He's out looking for me!" she hissed.  
  
"Why would he be out looking for you?" I whispered back, my mouth so close to the top of her head that I felt strands of her hair brush against my lips.  
  
"Because..."  
  
She trailed off as the footfalls thudded to a stop right outside my doorway. Breaths caught in our throats, we waited in dead silence.  
  
Knock.  
  
A soft knock, louder than the one Aeris had gently placed on the same doorway not so long ago, sounded, followed by a whisper.  
  
"Hey Tifa? You there? It's Cloud."  
  
I cursed under my breath, while Aeris snuggled even closer.  
  
"What're we going to do Tif?" she whispered into my neck again.  
  
I glanced up slightly and noticed that my bathroom door was open, swinging ever so slightly as a small breeze seeped in through the window. A plan formulating in my mind, I sat up, pulling Aeris up with me.  
  
"Come on, and try to make as little noise as possible!"  
  
She nodded, gazing fearfully up at me. We slipped out of bed, noiseless except for the slight sound of sheets rubbing against sheets. Taking small, quick steps, we slid silently into the bathroom, but not before I quickly scooped up the pile of clothes that lay on the floor beside the bed. Upon entering the bathroom, I grabbed the bathrobe hanging off of a hook on the back of the door and wrapped it around Aeris' shaking shoulders before quickly donning my sleeping attire. I planted a quick kiss on Aeris' lips, leaned over and flushed the toilet, then bounded out the bathroom, calling,  
  
"Sorry Cloud! Just a minute!"  
  
Swinging open the door in the middle of a forged yawn, I saw Cloud standing before me, still in full gear.  
  
"Hey, sorry to bother you." he said, smiling softly at me.  
  
I returned the smile, but my mind was still on Aeris, who was hiding in my bathroom dressed in a bathrobe.  
  
"It's alright. Um, why don't you come on in?"  
  
I could have slapped myself right there. I should be telling him to leave so Aeris could come back out, not inviting him in!  
  
"Oh, thanks Tifa, I was just about to ask if I could." he said, still smiling at me.  
  
I smiled back, though it was a little strained, and gave way for him to come in. Closing the door behind him, I motioned for him to sit on the edge of my bed.  
  
"My, you sure roll around a lot in your sleep." he said, gesturing offhandedly at the rumpled sheets that were half hanging on my bed, half lying on the ground.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Had a bad dream." I muttered, my best cover up for the sheets' drastic movement. I highly doubted Cloud would've liked hearing that that was really all caused by me and Aeris' little, shall we say, session for getting to know each other better.  
  
"Are you alright?" Cloud asked.  
  
So he bought it, and I could see genuine concern shining in his ice blue, Mako infused eyes.  
  
"Er, yeah, of course. You know me, I'm a fighter, no little nightmare can scare me!" I said, chuckling with somewhat hidden difficulty.  
  
"Ok..." was Cloud's unsure reply, as he fixed me with a weird look.  
  
There was a moment of silence between us, and I took the opportunity to chance a look at the bathroom door. The door, to my surprise, was open, and a pair of emerald eyes was gazing out through the tiny crack. Cloud must've caught my surprised look, as he turned around to look for himself, saying,  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Luckily, Aeris managed to close the door fast enough, and I coughed to hide the little click of the door closing.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just choked on my own spit, that's all." I said when Cloud turned back to face me.  
  
There was silence again, and I looked anywhere but Cloud's face. Finally, he decided to break the silence.  
  
"Um, I came here to ask if you've seen Aeris."  
  
My face went pale and turned red at the same time, each effectively cancelling the other out so my face remained the same, normal colour. I thanked the gods for that.  
  
"No, I haven't. Did you check her room?"  
  
"Yeah. She isn't there, that's why I came to ask. I dunno, maybe she came over to talk or something."  
  
I tried to contort my face into a worried look, and I think I succeeded, because Cloud didn't give me a weird look or anything.  
  
"Well, maybe she just wanted a little time to herself or something. Maybe she wanted a drink of water, I don't know." I said, shrugging. I didn't want to sound like I would know what Aeris would be up to in the middle of the night.  
  
"Well, maybe." Cloud replied, returning the shrug.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
We both stared at the ground, saying nothing. Finally, Cloud stood up, coughed, apologized for bothering me so late, and headed for the door.  
  
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning then." he said as he turned around in my doorway to bid me good night.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I was so relieved that everything had gone ok, and Cloud wasn't suspicious or anything. Thank the gods that he had the decency to knock, or else he would have walked in on something that I really, really didn't want him to see.  
  
"And thank you so much for knocking." I blurted out.  
  
Cloud, who had been just about to leave, turned back to look at me, eyebrow raised.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
God, yet another moment that I wanted to slap myself. Two in one night, what a disaster!  
  
"I... I mean, um... Well, you know... I hate it when people barge into rooms without knocking. It's just... It's just rude, that's all, so thanks for knocking Cloud. Yeah, um... yeah."  
  
I ended it off rather oddly and I could tell I'd screwed it up, especially from the look on Cloud's face. I would have tried to say something to salvage the situation, but I was too afraid I'd blurt something else out, maybe something along the lines of 'oh yeah, Aeris is in my bathroom' if I opened my mouth again.  
  
"Um, well, Tifa, I think you need to sleep now, so I'll see you in the morning. Good night."  
  
I nodded, clamping my mouth tightly shut so that nothing else unexpected would come flying out. Cloud had taken a couple of steps down the hall towards the direction of his room when he turned back to look at me.  
  
"And Tifa?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I hope... I hope..."  
  
I favoured him with a strange look. Instinctively, I knew what he wanted to say, I was just waiting to see if he'd say it.  
  
"I hope you have a good night's sleep, we've got a lot of travelling to do tomorrow." was what he settled with saying.  
  
I smirked, but decided not to remark. I chose to nod curtly, then promptly shut the door. I waited a couple of moments, tense, listening to the heavy footfalls that were Cloud's retreat down the hallway, before breathing a sigh of relief and locking the door for good measure. I whirled around and rushed for the bathroom door, barging in so suddenly that Aeris, who was huddled in the centre of the bathroom floor, shaking from the cold, jumped with a start.  
  
"I can explain!" she stammered, then blushed profusely when she realized it was me.  
  
"I'm sure you can Aeris." I grinned, trying to hold in my laugh. It just seemed a little too mean to laugh at Aeris when she was shivering so.  
  
She stuck her tongue out at my childishly, and I stuck my tongue out in response. We both laughed, though rather shakily.  
  
"Well." I said after a moment's silence.  
  
"That was a close call, wasn't it."  
  
She made it a statement rather than a question. I smiled.  
  
"No, really?"  
  
She stuck her tongue out at me again, and stood up.  
  
"I'm cold. Can we go back to bed?"  
  
"Sure thing." I managed to say through a big yawn.  
  
She gathered up her clothes from the floor and proceeded to walk out of the bathroom when she suddenly paused in the doorway, thinking. I watched her, waiting to see what she was up to. Finally, after what seemed like a long moment of deep thought on Aeris' part, she untied the bathrobe, slid it off, and hung it back on its hook on the door. I think a gulped a little too loudly. Aeris, probably having heard me, turned to look at me over her shoulder and winked rather roguishly. If I had chanced a look in the mirror, I'm pretty sure my whole face would have been a shade of unnatural red. We walked back over to the bed, and while I stood by the bedside, Aeris continued walking and dropped off her heap of clothes on the chair that stood just nearby. Then, turning back to the bed, she walked up to me and gently slid all of my clothing off, before walking back to the chair and dropping off my clothing. When she returned to stand beside me, she smiled, winked, and dusted her hands off.  
  
"There. All done. Time for my beauty sleep!"  
  
I gulped once again and opened my mouth to say something, but all that came out was a croak. Aeris laughed, but stifled it quickly by clapping her hand to her mouth. I cleared my throat a couple of times, beet red in the face.  
  
"Um, Aeris?"  
  
"Mm hm?"  
  
"This," I motioned weakly at our naked bodies, "is this..."  
  
I coughed again, trying to phrase what I was trying to say so it wouldn't come out sounding stupid.  
  
"What about 'this'?" Aeris countered, mimicking the wave of my hand.  
  
"What I meant to say was..." I gave Aeris a rather severe look.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
I coughed and let the silence hang around for a couple of minutes before finally saying, with a rather cynical look aimed at Aeris,  
  
"Sleep, huh Aeris?"  
  
I waited a moment, letting the implications and hidden meaning sink into Aeris' mind. When she finally got it, she blushed profusely, stammering words that I didn't quite catch. I did manage to hear the clipped phrase of 'that's not what I meant' through the mumbling though. Finally, she managed to stop her incoherent mumbling and turned on me, hands on her hips and a frown gracing her lips.  
  
"Yes Tifa, sleep. Unless you had other things in mind?"  
  
At that, she raised an eyebrow and I feigned a shocked look while taking a step closer.  
  
"What? Me? No! Why would I think of such things?"  
  
All while I was talking, one of my fingers slid teasingly along Aeris' spine, and I could feel her shiver. It would have gotten a lot more intimate than that if it weren't for our identical yawns that followed. We were both sleepy, and although the prospect of a little more fun under the covers was nice, both of us had lost most of our lust after our little encounter with Cloud, and sleep really did sound rather nice. Without another word, Aeris climbed in under the covers, closely followed by me. As soon as my head hit the pillow, Aeris snuggled in close, buried her face against my neck and mumbled in content. I simply lay on my back, one arm around Aeris, the other tucked under my head, staring up at the ceiling. We stayed like that for a while, simply enjoying each other's presence. Finally, I decided to ask her.  
  
"Aeris? Really, what are you doing here?"  
  
Right after it came out, I wished I hadn't phrased my question like that. I had a habit of sounding a little too blunt at times, without meaning to, and this was one of those times. Luckily, Aeris knew me well enough to know I hadn't meant it like that.  
  
"I... Well, I guess I should really start from the beginning right?"  
  
"It'd be nice."  
  
We laid in silence, me waiting for Aeris to speak, Aeris formulating what she was going to say in her head.  
  
"Cloud wanted to see me tonight, to talk to me or something." She chose to start off with something that I didn't find quite too agreeable.  
  
I frowned, but decided not to voice my disapproval of the topic.  
  
"Remember at dinner?" she continued.  
  
Of course I remembered. I'd nearly choked on every bite of food I took in because I was too busy watching Aeris, and during the middle of dessert, Cloud had stood up and walked over to Aeris. Standing behind her chair, he leaned down and whispered something into her ear, and she'd blushed just a little too much for my comfort.  
  
"Yeah, I remember."  
  
"He was asking me to stay up and wait for him to come over to my room so we could talk."  
  
Silence. Aeris was expecting me to say something.  
  
"Oh."  
  
I said something.  
  
"Tifa, I was scared, I didn't want to talk."  
  
She had put emphasis on the word talk, hinting at what I was already suspecting.  
  
"I never liked him, at least, not the way everyone thought I did. I never liked him," there was a pause, "I liked you. I liked you Tifa."  
  
I felt like I couldn't breathe. Either the air was just to damn thick, or my throat was just too damn tight. Either way, I couldn't breathe.  
  
"When he asked to talk to me, in the middle of the night, I knew something was up. I knew what he wanted to talk about. I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want him to come all the way to my room, in the middle of the night, to hear me tell him that he should stop fantasizing, because he had no chance. I didn't want to tell him, to his face, that I didn't like him, that it wasn't him that I fell in love with as soon as I saw them. I didn't want him to know the truth."  
  
She snuggled closer, as if burying her face in my neck would make everything go away.  
  
"So I ran. I ran because I was too scared. I ran to the only place I could think of, into the only pair of arms that I would want to run into, to be comforted by."  
  
I'd never heard Aeris talk like this. It was like she was a whole different person now. I always thought of her as young, innocent, carefree. Now she sounded so old, so weathered, like she's been through too much to ever feel happy again. And suddenly, it occurred to me that maybe this was the real Aeris. I'm sure the happiness and such is real too, but that's the day-to- day Aeris. This is the Aeris that people rarely get to see, and strangely, I took pride in knowing that maybe I was the only one who'd ever gotten to see her like this. I sure as hell knew Cloud hadn't.  
  
"I didn't know what to do, all I could think of was to get to you as soon as possible. In my mind, the only thing I could focus on was that I had to get to you. As soon as I got to you, everything would just go away. You could make it all go away."  
  
"And did I?"  
  
Aeris pulled away from my neck, and I could feel her gaze on me as I stared up at the ceiling. I waited for her to do whatever she was planning to do, waited patiently for her answer to my question. She snuggled her face back where it was before, right against my neck, after she kissed me gently on the cheek.  
  
"Yeah, you did."  
  
I smiled.  
  
"Glad I was of service Lady Gainsborough."  
  
She giggled and sighed before continuing.  
  
"By the time I got to your door, I was in such a mess that I couldn't think of anything to say, so I said the first thing that came to mind."  
  
"An apology for bothering me so late." I said with a smirk.  
  
"Yeah. I couldn't think of anything else. All I really wanted to do was throw myself onto you and cry my heart out."  
  
"Which you did."  
  
"Yeah, I did. I just couldn't stop myself. And then I guess things got a little out of hand."  
  
I could feel her smile against my neck, and I smiled along with her. Things sure did get out of hand, but it's not like either of us were regretting it.  
  
"My true... My actual feelings took over after that. I guess all that I could think of was that since Cloud had been ready enough about our relationship to ask to talk to me in the middle of the night, I'd have to do something drastic if I ever wanted to be with you, even for just one night."  
  
"Just one night?" I hoped that she wasn't implying what I thought she was through those words.  
  
Aeris seemed to catch my drift, because she shook her head vehemently, even with her face buried against my neck.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"I just never really expected you to feel the same way. I thought you hated me because you liked Cloud and Cloud liked me. You keep staring at me all the time, I can't help but wonder what's going through your mind, what kind of torture treatments you're planning for me in that beautiful head of yours, to get back at me for stealing your boyfriend."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Well, now I know that that's not the case."  
  
"Of course it's not the case! It never was the case!"  
  
"It wasn't?"  
  
"No!! First off, Cloud ISN'T my boyfriend, he never was and he never will be, and don't think I'm trying to hide remorse, 'cause I'm not, and secondly, I SO don't have torture treatments running through my head when I'm looking at you! I-"  
  
Ok, treading on dangerous ground here. More like embarrassing. But if Aeris was so honest with me, I guess I had to be honest with her too.  
  
"I... Well, you know how you can't keep your eyes off someone you really like, right?"  
  
I said the last part all in a rush, hoping Aeris didn't hear it and at the same time hoping she did.  
  
She did.  
  
"You... You LIKED me before?!"  
  
"Erm, yeah."  
  
"That's why you were always looking at me?!"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Her arms tightened around me as she squeezed me with all she had.  
  
"Aeris! I'm not a big teddy bear! I can barely breathe!"  
  
She didn't loosen her death grip on my waist. In fact, it seemed like she hadn't heard me at all.  
  
"You did?! Oh, I'm so happy Tifa! You have no idea how happy I am right now! I always thought you hated me because Cloud liked me and you liked him, so it was like I was stealing him away from you because you were there first but it was you I liked from the beginning ever since I saw you in that basement thing at Don Corneo's and I was so upset all the time because I liked you but you hated me and I didn't know what to do because Cloud kept getting closer and closer all the time and then I was so scared when he asked to talk so I ran to you and all I wanted to do was have you hold me and comfort me and I wanted to tell you how I felt but I was afraid you'd slap me or something and kick me out because you hated me so I was really afraid but now I know you don't hate me and you actually do like me back!!"  
  
I could barely understand her, Aeris was saying everything in a big rush of excitement, and I couldn't help but chuckle at that.  
  
"Oh!! You're happy too!!!"  
  
Oh dear. She was like a little kid on sugar. And strangely, just a couple of moments ago, she was a 22 year old confessing her deepest secrets and sounding like she was a lot older than she really was. As for me, I was just a 20 year old who was dying to get some sleep.  
  
"Hey, Aeris, I congratulate you on realizing that I never hated you, and I do like you, but could we get some sleep please? I'm really tired."  
  
She giggled at that, raised her head up a bit to kiss me on the cheek, then sighed happily.  
  
"Of course Tif. Good night."  
  
"G'night."  
  
xxxxxxxx  
  
The next morning was a joke for the both of us. Cloud ate up the excuse of Aeris having gone out for a late night walk to stay awake, only to come in too late for her and Cloud's little meeting, and had come to me an hour or so after Cloud had left my room to have a girl talk session without any questions. Travelling now meant three groups of three, and me and Aeris were always together. The third person in our party would somehow always lose track of us and have to find their own way to wherever we were going by themselves. Aeris did manage to always share a bed with me from then on, and nobody suspected anything. Aeris still flirted shamelessly with Cloud whenever the chance presented itself, and I still played the part of the jealous bystander, but no-one other than Aeris and myself knew that the jealousy was directed at Cloud, because I so sorely wished I was in his place.  
  
Those were the happy times that I try so hard to forget, yet hope with all my heart that I will not. I'd sworn revenge on Sephiroth for what he'd done, and he's as dead as dead can get. Nothing more I can do about him now. I try to carry on with life. I know that's what Aeris would have wanted, so I do it. I miss her. I miss her laughter that was my reason for live, I miss her emerald eyes that I could sink and drown in, I miss her soft, wavy brown hair, I miss her milky white skin that I would trace my fingers along all the time, I miss her voice that was my way to heaven, I miss the feel of her lips on mine, I miss the way the bed tilted when she climbed in, I miss the way her arms felt around me as I held her close, I miss having her face buried against my neck. I miss her. She had always been right at my fingertips, but never close enough.

AN: If I get enough reviews, I might make another one of these...


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